SweetieGames

Before Persona 5 Royal graced PC and other consoles, it was well known that the game and its predecessor, Persona 5, were PlayStation exclusives. It even became a running joke in the fandom that most of its fans hadn’t actually played the game, and had watched a walkthrough instead.

Back in 2017, I was one of those fans who watched YouTuber JohneAwesome’s highly popular lets play videos on the original Persona 5. And like many people, it was the gateway to my new hyperfixation. I wasn’t diagnosed with autism at this time; I just thought I was passionate about my interests. The art style and characters were captivating. As a seventeen year old myself at the time, the characters were around my age and I thought they were unbelievably cool. They made me believe I could overcome anything. I watched every episode of the lets play as soon as it released, I scrolled for hours through fanart and memes on Tumblr and Twitter, I talked about it with anyone who would listen. But even this wasn’t enough. I had to play the game myself. I hadn’t even seen the jokes about the majority of the fanbase not having played the game themselves. I just felt like I needed to run through those streets and those palaces myself. I needed to get lost looking for the Ginza line. I needed to order the stupid pancake at the maid café. I needed to max out the bonds with my favourite characters (mainly Yusuke).

I worked my ass off at my first summer job to make this happen. This job was definitely the worst one I’ve ever had. Getting up extremely early in the morning, dealing with tourist customers, managers who didn’t know what to do with their horde of summer temporary staff… but every early morning and grouchy customer was worth it to scrape my earnings together at the end of the month and drop it all on a shiny new PS4 and a copy of Persona 5. The lets play series hadn’t even finished yet, but I didn’t want to spoil the ending. I never thought when I started watching it that I’d actually play the ending myself!

Now, Persona 5 is one of my special interests; this can sometimes happen with my hyperfixations. I’ve played through Persona 5 and Royal multiple times fully through, and I will sometimes go back just to run around in the Royal bonus content. My excitement was electric when I came across a copy of one of my holy grail artbooks; the original Persona 5 visual design works with its comic book front cover. I lugged it around at a convention for hours and carried it in my luggage for the 300 mile trip back home; there was no way I was letting it get away from me. At my autism assessment, I explained its plot to my psychologist after she asked me if I had any intense interests. I listen to the soundtrack all the time. I always think about where my love for this game started, and how I put my everything into that job purely so I could fully experience it for myself. There’s nothing like the pull of a neurodivergent brain to a new special interest.

As a working adult, buying a new game doesn’t have the same air about it as buying my original Persona 5 copy. It’s done off the cuff, a cheeky “treat yourself” moment. It doesn’t have the months of planning and waiting. On the one hand, I’m glad I don’t have to wait months to play games I want anymore. But I can’t deny that the moment I paid for my copy of Persona 5 was extremely special. Pray that I can find the Persona 5 Royal artbook at a con this year!