SweetieGames

It’s been a while since I first dipped my toes into the world of Final Fantasy XIV, the hugely popular MMORPG from Square Enix. I played for a fair while in the Free Trial version, searching for a reason to pay for the full thing, but the main story has taken a while to get into and there weren’t any NPC characters that I got particularly attached to. Outside of playing with online friends, I didn’t really have much of a reason to log in.

I recently found myself going back to FFXIV, partially because my friends have been interested in it and also because I wanted to progress the story and see if I wanted to commit to the full version of the game. I do have a tendency to be nervous in multiplayer game settings; being surrounded by strangers who may have unwritten rules for interacting with one another while I’m a bit of a newbie is nerve-racking, especially as I had people comment on my poor healing performance in the game previously. Many people seem to forget that they were new once!

When my friend suggested that we take part in a dungeon together in Final Fantasy XIV, I told them about my nerves after what happened previously. Many people in the game don’t have patience for someone performing badly, especially in my experience playing the healer White Mage and Conjurer classes. I get it, healing is an important role, but it’s not the end of the world! It’s a game at the end of the day!

My friend, playing a DPS, reassured me that they would look out for me and that nothing bad would happen. We enter the dungeon and, as I had learned from my previous run-in, focus on healing. It’s my job. I perform AOE healing spells to keep everyone alive as I was previously told off for dealing damage during the dungeon and not healing. Nobody has a scratch. Doesn’t stop a random person sending me a rude message though! Asking me why I’m only doing AOE healing!

As an autistic person, I may have taken my previous telling-off too literally, but if I’m told to focus on healing the group so they don’t take damage, that is what I’ll do. I was slightly bewildered and spent the rest of the dungeon wandering behind everyone else in shame, just focussing on keeping the group alive so that we could leave ASAP. I sprinkled in a couple damage spells too. Nobody said a word. I proceeded to tell my friend that I won’t be playing multiplayer dungeons again as I’m so embarrassed. This was probably an exaggeration, but I’m still not keen on going back.

I think some people take games far too seriously. I’ve interacted with some lovely people in FFXIV, but it only takes a couple of rude or unwelcoming people to really put you off. I think I’ve been a bit unlucky in this sense; I seem to get rude people fairly regularly, but if someone is struggling with their role, there’s no harm in taking some time to talk them through what you want from them. It would make me feel a lot better! I love healer characters and playing healing classes in other games, but maybe I should reconsider in FFXIV. Which sucks, because I want to play a healer!

All I’m wondering now is: Do you want healers to deal damage in between, or just heal the group?! I’m still not sure! I keep getting mixed messages!