SweetieGames

Despite the fact that nearly half of all gamers worldwide are female, it still comes as a shock to many people when they see a girl who enjoys video games. Many women have experienced misogyny in the gaming community, whether that be in livestreams, in online gaming lobbies or even on social media when they express their passion for gaming. It’s especially bad in online gaming spaces that are predominantly male; I haven’t dared try any FPS games online for this very reason.

I’m 26 now, and pretty introverted; I like to keep to my groups of friends that know me well and I don’t have to mask my autistic traits for. But as these friends are a similar age to me, they have been seeing people on dating apps which made me feel like I should also give them a try. Of course, having similar interests or hobbies can be a huge plus when meeting someone for the first time, so I put in my bio that I enjoy gaming, I got into anime at age 13 but I’ve been meaning to watch new stuff, and that I enjoy writing. I feel like I’d really struggle to talk to someone I have nothing in common with interests wise, so I’m always glad when someone strikes up a conversation with me about my favourite things! However, many of these conversations take a sour turn pretty quickly…

The most common question I get is asking what kind of games I play. Fair enough, “gaming” in a bio is vague and there’s a whole plethora of games you could enjoy and consider yourself a “gamer” for playing. Some people end the conversation after I tell them I enjoy playing RPGs and visual novels, probably because many people don’t consider visual novels to be a game at all, and they enjoy a very different genre. I always make it clear that I’m more of a story person than anything else, and that doesn’t appeal to everyone. But I wouldn’t cut off a conversation just because they don’t like the exact same games as me! I’m always interested in learning more about different genres! Even if it is something that I’m not necessarily interested in playing myself.

The worst people, however, are the ones who feel like they need to explain my hobbies to me, or instantly feel they would be better than me at some of my favourite games. One of my conversation starters is that I can beat anyone in a game of Sonic Riders for the PS2. I genuinely believe this; I’ve had the game for 20 years and my brother and I play regularly. I get some people (men) open the conversation with “I’ve never played but I bet I could beat you.” What makes you so sure? Because it’s a video game and I’m a woman? You don’t believe a girl can beat you in a niche racing game that you’ve never played but she’s played for 20 years? Is your pride that fragile?

Many don’t ask what anime I did enjoy before giving their recommendations and explaining them to me; Death Note is an iconic anime that was a hyperfixation of mine about 12 years ago and I don’t need an in-depth plot rundown right off the bat, like I’ve never even watched one anime before. They act like anime has changed drastically since I last watched one. It hasn’t. Death Note is still Death Note. When I tell someone the games I like and they also like them, it can be even worse; they still feel the need to explain the game to me, rather than just talking about the aspects they like. Y’know, a normal conversation. I’ve played the game! I don’t need it explained! And I don’t need to prove to you that I’m a “real fan”! I mentioned to someone that I’m a huge Deltarune fan, and they asked if I had played the newest chapter. I had already answered that question. They then asked me who my favourite character was, and I had already answered that too, before they started explaining the latest chapter to me! Why am I talking to a brick wall?!

It’s so frustrating that people still see female gamers as an anomaly or as posers who only play video games for the sake of male attention. I actually don’t like the attention it brings sometimes; I’ve had some lovely conversations with people about gaming, but also plenty where I feel that I have to be the number one superfan of something to prove that I’m worthy of taking up space in the gaming community. Especially when I tell them that I write about video games here too! Of course, there’s plenty of games that I am a huge fan of as they’re my special interest, but I don’t want to have to infodump on someone to prove that I enjoy something. I long for the day where it’s seen as normal by the majority of people to be a girl who enjoys, and is skilled at any nerdy hobby or interest.